m.e is an illness of many faces, tears go hand in hand with smiles as you learn to cope.
one thing that seems to be very necessary to live with m.e and fibromyalgia is a sense of humor, and a complete bloody minded sense of determination to cope with all of the barriers put up by both the illness and society.
for the most part i have been able to cope with most of the challenges i have met with the help of my family and a sense of humor that may be slightly warped but it has allowed me to meet things head on.
i have met the challenge of not being able to work, or maintain a home and i won, i met the challenge of realizing i need to ask for help, and applied for benefits and called social services to help me have a life even if it is restricted.i met each medical appointment with a smile and hope no matter how many times i was told we cant help you. i remember the day i got a diagnosis being so great full that i cried i now new for certain i was not mad. little did i know that a large proportion of the medical profession and society thinks its nothing more than being a bit tired. oh i wish!
i watched my role in my family change from carer to the cared for. and for the most part i met it with a smile.
but there are time like this last week when the tears are there, the creep up unawares ready to throw a spanner in the works and turn how well you thought you were doing on its head.
this week, the m.e reminded me that no matter how much a wish it, it has not gone nor has it lessened in severity it was only hidden by the severity of the fibro. now that i have a temproy reprieve from the sever disabling pain that is fibromyalgia, the ugly truth that is m.e can be seen, it has not gone neither was it sleeping it was hiding waiting to catch me out, the tear came with vengeance awakened by the realization that everything is only temporary.
though i have to say i am lucky as waiting there to pick me up when i fell were my family tissues in hand, hubby rescued me from from the dispear that is realization, with love and humour he helped me to climb back out and find my smile again.
m.e is a disease that isolates, i am very lucky in that i have an amazing family and some great friends that have supported me thus far in this journey. together im sure we will be able to ride both the ups and downs.