my days...

i suppose to the out side world my life must look boring and lonely, i spend most days at home, on my own as the family is at work.

i cant clean my own home or cook a meal on my own so what do i do all day!!

well i spend a lot of time on my computer talking to other people in the same boat who are ill and disabled by M.E, i laugh and joke and sympathies with this cyber friends who probably know more about how i feel than any one else. for me its safe to tell them how i feel and whats going on because they understand im not just moaning im stating fact.

the fact is that i have never felt well or not in pain for the last 3 years, my family dont want to here that every day, who would, it gets you down. but the need to tell someone is there and so my cyber friends who are all suffering the same understand when i say i feel crap, im stating a fact, not moaning and groaning but just saying how it is. i dont want to make people feel sorry for me or feel guilty cos i dont tell then. thats not the point it just helps me to tell someone who gets how i feel.

some days are spent crafting making cards for family and friends. i make jewelery for my daughter and as gifts. a couple of days are spent with my carer with whom i have a great laugh and get to go off out something i can not do on my own. i see my parents and get to spend time with them something that i would not have done if things had been different, but most of all i spend time with my dog, whi is my constant companion. and my wonderful family.

all the fun of the fair

just recently i have been riding the M.E roller coaster with ups and downs following each other in quick and dramatic ways.

M.E is the illness that just keeps giving when you think nothing else could be thrown into the mix of symptoms that you deal with a new and confusing one turns up, leaving you wondering if its the M.E or if something else is going wrong!!

a week ago i had 24 hours where i could not sit or stand up with out severe pain in my head , nausea dizziness and a total drain of colour leaving me feeling as if i was about to collapse. this disappeared as quickly as it came leaving me feeling as i normally do im pain, and generally knackered,

so up and down i go.