why me? why M.E?

this is a question that i often ask why me? why my life?

the problem is there are no answers. i have no idea if this is a punishment for something that i did in my past that i cant even remember. i would hate to think that im being punished for something i dont know about cos if i did then fine i deserve what ever but if not then why me what did i do to end up like this!

but more to the point what did my family do to have to suffer alongside me to watch my pain and my forgetfulness, to have to share my broken half life existence.

why my life? why was i stopped just as i was getting it together and heading out to a worthwhile career that would have helped my family financially.

why am i now living a strange half existence on the edge of the life not fully able to participate any longer. im broken but no one seems to know how to fix me there are no new parts, or magic pills, they cant even say that in time it will change they dont know!

i hate feeling so useless and dependent, the fear of being left behind as i cant keep up is more than i can bare some days, i was an independent strong woman with a direction in life and goals, now thats all a distant dream one that i can no longer participate in or hope to take part in.

why me? why M.E? why?