why!

yesterday i was chatting to an old work collegue who thought i had resigned from my job because i was unhappy. if only that was the truth why do roumors persist especially when no one has ever asked me! i left work in september 09 to go on long term sick which i am still on i hasten to add employed by the same people that have spread the roumor that i had resigned. i did not leave through choice because i was unhappy, i left because was to ill to continue. yes i was unhappy leading up to the point where i was forced into going sick by my gp and consultant. i loved my job and was scared rigid over what was happeing to me. i felt so ill all the time unable to work out what was happeing work was becoming increasingly diffcult to manage. and im sad to say the support that i though i would have had was not there i was disiplined for being off sick, i had resposibilites take off me as i was told you are no longer coping, and was cornered in coridors and offices and asked what was wrong was i depressed what was upsetting me. i kept saying nothing is upsetting me other than i feel so ill and i dont know why. then the final straw hi i lost my voice for 6 months. i continued to struggle into work and the support i got from collegues and managers dwindled to nothing i felt like i was going nuts.

as we returned to work after the summer hols i was still struggling and at the same time found 2 large breast lumps and was refered to the breast clinic for biopsys and then lumpectomy within a 4 week period. all of a sudden i was so ill i couldnt think or function. work recived the letters from the consultant and from the gp and a copy of the medical report from the m.e clinic saying what was wrong.

so why have they persisited with this lie that i resigned i am still technically employed as they have not yet dissmissed me through ill health al though the process has been ongoing scince july.

why have none of my collegues visited or rang, why have none of my immediate maagers bothered to find out whats going on. am i such an embarassment that there employee has m.e, or is it that they now feel guilty for there lack of support and knowledge about what was going on.

a chance encounter on face book yesterday brought all my distress and anger at how i was treated and how i am being treated still to the front of my mind.

one of my managers was suposed to be a friend not just my friend but a family friend we went on holidays together, ate at each others houses and spent most weekends doing someting as a family with each other. but the day i handed in a sick note for 3 months that said M.E/CFS she disapeared. i was dumped like an old pair of shoes that were once your favorited but were now to worn and broken to wear again.

i know m.e is hard to understand i find it hard but i exspect better from my friend and an employer who were all suposed to be caring and educated as teachers.

why me? why do they lie? why am i ignored? and why M.E?