normality!

this week has been better and since fri normality is returning. no i dont me i have found a miracles cure or that im now some how fit enough to walk to the local shop.
what i mean is that the down ward spiral that has been my life since Christmas seems to be leveling out again.

unlike last weekend when an hour out left me in a collapsed heap unable to communicate properly , this weekend i was just tired and sore and after an afternoon nap i was able to get up and have tea with my family something that had started to become an occasional event.

this morning i went out on my scooter with paul and google to the park and to fetch the paper. it was lovely to be out and about. the air was crisp and the ground hard from the frost that had left the grass white. google was bouncing around like a loony enjoying his freedom and sniffing at the all the special smells that only mean anything to a dog!

we went to the local shop to get a paper and saw an old friend for a natter and a catch up which was good and felt like normal being part of the world.

something that has become increasingly rare in the last month, i did wonder if my imprison meant was self inflicted, but i didnt give my self a cold that hug around for nearly 7 weeks in total nor did i give myself M.E.yes i may have wallowed a bit in self pity but some how i dont think that it was abnormal to feel sorry for myself!

the positivity that i pride myself on has returned this week, maybe the fact that the cold has finally gone enabled me to lift the curtain and see the sun. er will soon be over and spring is on its way bringing with it its promise of warmth and blue sky's. the daffodil's have started poking through the dark brown earth that has been there bed all winter and i cant wait to see there heads dancing in the sun.

today is full of hope and optimism that's what normality is to me the dream of whats next and what might be that elusive what if and a sense of the future thats what normality is to me