not so great

ill try hard not to make this into a moan fest but considering that i feel like crap m not sure if im going to manage that

for the last 3 days every time i eat i feel sick and spent a large amount of time looking at a large white bit of pottery on Tuesday night. the lack of sleep has really messed me up the pain in my back, hips and legs is unbelievable, i was in tears trying to hang the washing out as my shoulders burned, making a cup of tea has become a mamouth task. my head feels like its going to explode as the pain from this travels down my neck and into my shoulders, my eyes are so dry and gritty that they hurt as a blink but still i feel the need to carry on.

why?

i know i need to stay in bed so why do i get up, i know i need to pace so why cant i ?

this illness is making me so very lonely even though my family is fantastic and i know im so lucky to be loved so why do i feel like no one understands, i feel like im failing i cant even manage being a housewife never mind going to work!

the days on my own are getting longer and i know i getting boring i have nothing to tell anyone because all i have done is sit in my chair or slept. i dont say how im feeling or it would seem that im always moaning.

oh for crying out loud all i wanted to do was type an entry onto this bold but i have got so hot and i am now struggling to think i really hate this illness and the lack of understanding.